urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bubblegumlea coz foods not all that! bubblegumlea 2009-08-02T03:58:21Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bubblegumlea:1957 2009-08-02T03:58:21Z 2009-08-02T03:58:21Z what are people STATs?<br />i havnt been on in agessssss<br />mine (+o()...<br /><br />HW 135<br />LW 118<br />GW 110<br />CW 126<br /><br />Heigth 5'5<br />21.0<br /><br />i feel fukin disgusting with that, to think my bmi used to be 18.5 and thats still normal<br /><br />xx urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bubblegumlea:1788 2009-08-01T21:38:21Z 2009-08-01T21:38:21Z RnB classics! ;) ok so hello again!<br />i havnt been on here in agesssss due to not having internet access.<br />i tried gettin over my ED eatin less then GDA but so much better<br />i put on about 10lbs about, i tried 2 see myself as accepted, even beautiful despreatly tryin to remember living an Ed lifestlye is so cruel but it didnt work<br />i realised i hadnt been out more then to ge some cigs in months and how unconfident i was feelin on top of my already scary self esteam and well... im off again<br />i dotn think ill ever get over this<br />my bmi was at 20 but my entire life felt lost<br />ive lost it all again nd 'back on track' again<br />i dont know how to feel about it tbh<br />ive never been in such a love hate relationship in my entire life<br />smiling when seein my ribs but so ashamed and confused on how this disorder can even exzist<br />and over such a small thing as food<br />food<br />you need food to live<br />its just like puttin petrol in a car<br />so why do i feel the need to run on empty???<br /><br />saying all that however i am feelin ok, yeh a lil confused etc but its not too bad<br />anyways so here i am again<br />i hope you all are getting on betteri should be on for a while so lets talk<br />i need 2 give a lil advice take my mind of things<br />I LOVE U ALL !<br />lea xx<br /><br /><br />(and in a weird way its good to be back, the min i signed in i felt acceptance and respect again from all of you (LL) ) xx urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bubblegumlea:1522 2009-02-04T20:02:34Z 2009-02-04T20:02:34Z ok so last week i was ill and couldn't keep anything down.&nbsp; For pretty much a week i must of taken in on a whole about 500 calories TOPS!&nbsp; I felt great and my jeans defonetly felt looser.<br /><br />However I got better and wasn't really eating badly but I wasn't eating good.&nbsp; I'd have maybe ceral, a small meal like a sandwhich and then maybe somthing else everyday.&nbsp; Thats not good!<br /><br />This morning tho I recieved my new Hoodia pills, they have 400 mg of Hoodie in and I've taken two instead just the recommended one.&nbsp; They've defonetly helped me from eating as much, its the time of the month were my mam has this meeting on and she buys sooooooooo many snacks and things.&nbsp; Chocolate, crisps, cakes, cookies, more chocolate, biccys, normal coke, etc etc.&nbsp; Up to now me and my pup have just finished of whats left of the twiglets but I really dont think i have the will power to say no to the rest.<br /><br />I'll take another pill and see if i can resist.&nbsp; I really hope i do im going to a party this weekend and feel fat enough as it is, also the lad im like in love withis going to be there and i havnt spoke to him in ages so theres another reason to look fab.<br /><br />Also!&nbsp; I still havnt got my money to get my scales so&nbsp;i dont know if i've lost anything in about a month!&nbsp; i keep getting my hopes up thinking i have but what if i've gained, i think i'de kill myself.<br /><br />Not the best of days<br />I'de do anything for a glimmer of willpower<br />ss x urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bubblegumlea:1076 2009-01-25T21:15:25Z 2009-01-25T21:15:25Z smiths when ever i come on here im usually about to binge binge binge<br />i always leave with just a coffee or dc<br />(LL) xxx urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bubblegumlea:851 2009-01-25T21:07:40Z 2009-01-25T21:07:40Z a bita lilly allen (Y) its going down...<br />might not be much but still<br />going down!<br />ok so im at that stage were im asking myself whats so good about being thin<br />and is 24/7 starvation really worth it<br />i know in my heart it is<br />but my stomachs making me think twice<br />cant wait to get my ema<br />gym gym gymmmmm<br />god im sick of constant sit ups<br />so im looking forward<br />and i wil stay the fuck stong and tell food to go and fuck it self<br />thinspo quote for 2day,<br /><br />'your foods just gonna rot in your stomach and hips, let it rot on your plate instead =)'<br /><br />xxxx urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bubblegumlea:513 2008-11-07T01:56:25Z 2008-11-07T01:56:25Z <p>thats it!&nbsp; im starting this diet, thing what i was doing before again!<br />see i done it for so long, lost so much, then my friggin birthday had to pop up<br />chocolate chocolate chocolate<br />now im 10 stone again<br />ffs<br />i feel pure disgusting but being at college around my friends who dont stop eating everyday all day<br />its really hard to be like<br />not hungry me =|<br />im even wanting to eat now<br />this is so shit<br />i need somthing to take my mind of food<br />plz help me guyssss :')<br />xxxxx</p>