what are people STATs?
i havnt been on in agessssss
mine (+o()...

HW 135
LW 118
GW 110
CW 126

Heigth 5'5
21.0

i feel fukin disgusting with that, to think my bmi used to be 18.5 and thats still normal

xx

ok so hello again!
i havnt been on here in agesssss due to not having internet access.
i tried gettin over my ED eatin less then GDA but so much better
i put on about 10lbs about, i tried 2 see myself as accepted, even beautiful despreatly tryin to remember living an Ed lifestlye is so cruel but it didnt work
i realised i hadnt been out more then to ge some cigs in months and how unconfident i was feelin on top of my already scary self esteam and well... im off again
i dotn think ill ever get over this
my bmi was at 20 but my entire life felt lost
ive lost it all again nd 'back on track' again
i dont know how to feel about it tbh
ive never been in such a love hate relationship in my entire life
smiling when seein my ribs but so ashamed and confused on how this disorder can even exzist
and over such a small thing as food
food
you need food to live
its just like puttin petrol in a car
so why do i feel the need to run on empty???

saying all that however i am feelin ok, yeh a lil confused etc but its not too bad
anyways so here i am again
i hope you all are getting on betteri should be on for a while so lets talk
i need 2 give a lil advice take my mind of things
I LOVE U ALL !
lea xx


(and in a weird way its good to be back, the min i signed in i felt acceptance and respect again from all of you (LL) ) xx

ok so last week i was ill and couldn't keep anything down.  For pretty much a week i must of taken in on a whole about 500 calories TOPS!  I felt great and my jeans defonetly felt looser.

However I got better and wasn't really eating badly but I wasn't eating good.  I'd have maybe ceral, a small meal like a sandwhich and then maybe somthing else everyday.  Thats not good!

This morning tho I recieved my new Hoodia pills, they have 400 mg of Hoodie in and I've taken two instead just the recommended one.  They've defonetly helped me from eating as much, its the time of the month were my mam has this meeting on and she buys sooooooooo many snacks and things.  Chocolate, crisps, cakes, cookies, more chocolate, biccys, normal coke, etc etc.  Up to now me and my pup have just finished of whats left of the twiglets but I really dont think i have the will power to say no to the rest.

I'll take another pill and see if i can resist.  I really hope i do im going to a party this weekend and feel fat enough as it is, also the lad im like in love withis going to be there and i havnt spoke to him in ages so theres another reason to look fab.

Also!  I still havnt got my money to get my scales so i dont know if i've lost anything in about a month!  i keep getting my hopes up thinking i have but what if i've gained, i think i'de kill myself.

Not the best of days
I'de do anything for a glimmer of willpower
ss x

when ever i come on here im usually about to binge binge binge
i always leave with just a coffee or dc
(LL) xxx

its going down...
might not be much but still
going down!
ok so im at that stage were im asking myself whats so good about being thin
and is 24/7 starvation really worth it
i know in my heart it is
but my stomachs making me think twice
cant wait to get my ema
gym gym gymmmmm
god im sick of constant sit ups
so im looking forward
and i wil stay the fuck stong and tell food to go and fuck it self
thinspo quote for 2day,

'your foods just gonna rot in your stomach and hips, let it rot on your plate instead =)'

xxxx